i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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