found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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