one two three fourrrrnication!
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
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