dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
