We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize