Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
