dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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