I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Shame - the story of my life.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
