This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
