My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Randomize