I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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