Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
