Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize