We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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