Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
