Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
