but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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