Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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