$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
