At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
