there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
