We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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