It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
