Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Randomize
