We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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