Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
