and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
ttyl tear gas
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
