well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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