I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
