I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
