How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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