At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
