just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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