The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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