somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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