Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
