oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
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