Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
