Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
