Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
