Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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