Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
