Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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