There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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