well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Watching her eat just hurts me
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
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