I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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