i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Swine flu is the new snow day.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
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