i wish my penis had a tongue
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
