Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(707): View more from California

Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?

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(612): View more from Minnesota

from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.

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(907): View more from Alaska

The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.

(907): View more from Alaska

Nevermind, it's not water.

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one

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(404): View more from Georgia

i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???

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(810): View more from Michigan

Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.

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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?

(571): View more from Virginia

That hungover.

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