I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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