her vagina looked like bernie madoff
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
