Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Randomize
