I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The power of my boobs compel you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
