She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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