Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize