I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
