I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
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