Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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