Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
