He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
