Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
