what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
