I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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